A LETTER TO MYSELF

To my best friend

Your dreams and hopes were always alive. But why have you become more fearful than faithful? Confusion rested beside your pillow and through the nights you listened to its spiteful and useless deliberations until the first light of dawn gently kissed your face, revealing tear stains and puffy eyes. I remember the mornings when you woke up to a rapidly spinning world but you were motionless, with nothing to contribute. What was the rationale behind your disconnection? Your actions were not illogical and your thoughts were real and true. You yearned for embrace and acknowledgment. You looked for a type of love that was deeper than your wound. You saw love being displayed but warm baths and food in your tummy were not enough to get you through. They listened to your tales and giggled at your story. She's only twelve, they must have thought. Well, your event was twelve times as large, and the truth was twelve times as revolting. Every avenue took you down to the first time it happened. You were a lonely traveler with a malfunctioning compass that sensed interference. You were lost...

Like a thief in the night, the dark shadow crept up to you, clothed in its naked attire and it embraced you tightly. It snatched your authority and stole a moment that belonged to someone else. The wall that protected you gave way and an axe penetrated your heart so violently, and you stood idly there, paralyzed. Your feet were mounted to the ground. Like a foolish child, you awaited your fate. The air was contaminated with poison and you began to choke! Then, as if pulled by strings, like a controlled puppet, darkness retraced its steps and left you but the sickness and unjustifiable agendas remained.

I watched as better years followed you with buckets full of genuine love and good intentions. You left that dark era when you realized that silence was the enemy. You broke protocol and you broke through the norms of society. You began to speak words of freedom and power and hope was restored. You were like an Autumn leave that left its tree, the bond between branch and leaf weakened and you were taken by the wind just like a butterfly, going wherever it wanted to go. Silence became audible and like an explosion your noise was a rapid release of venom and injury that had lived inside of you but it was a sweet song of deliverance too. Your story no longer fell on deaf ears and there was love in your language.

You used to imagine that you were already grown, a fantasy that provided for you a safe space, a dreamy place where all evil was non-existent. Sometimes you stumbled over your words and you were misunderstood when you needed to be heard. I'm sorry that I wasn't there to secretly whisper into your ears words of wisdom and meaning.

You brought yourself out of the wilderness and created your own landscape where fields of green belonged to you. When things got a little bit harder, you simply laughed a little bit longer than before. You cried for the girls who had no tears to give. You spoke for the girls who spoke in muted voices. With your own permission, you made declarations and took action. It was no longer up for discussion. "This girl was not going to suffer in silence anymore". Having a quiet and gentle spirit did not mean soundlessness. Girls' rights are human rights! Girls' needs are human needs! Staying silent is not living. Despite your circumstances, you chose to tell the future sons and daughters that nobody has the right to touch a girl in any form or way without her consent, she has exclusive rights over her body, she has the right to speak openly and freely, no means NO, and a girl's story deserves to be heard and known. - it matters!

You told your story and you overcame a secret phobia. Congratulations! You navigated your way and you saw your worth. It was never your fault. You are unique, beautiful and incomparable.

Life has taken you on many paths and surprisingly there are still more to discover. You will walk tall, you will soar, you will be called, you will learn and teach, but above all your voice will be amplified. The truth always sets you free. I believe in you and that's enough. I am not saying there won't be obstacles and that trouble won't find your door, but please endure because without difficulties, life cannot usher you onto the path you should follow. Welcome the hardships. Let it storm. Flowers cannot grow and blossom without nature's anger. Many voices will try to slip inside your head but you will recognize your own. Be your best friend, not your best enemy. Have no tolerance for sexual violation. Don't fall prey to being bullied and abused by anyone. Step up and out. If it feels wrong, IT IS.

Keep on spreading awareness. Earn redemption on behalf of those who feel they have been defeated. Statistics show that nearly 96% of women do not report incidents, according to the Happiful Magazine. https://happiful.com/why-are-96-of-women-not-reporting-sexual-harassment This should bother you. You may not be able to save the world but remember where you were for many years - part of the 96%. Keep awareness alive. Some women think that if they report the incident, it would make no difference. Women are expected to accept a minor case of sexual harassment, simply because they are women. I don't judge them. I call it stereotypical manipulation!

You are no longer a slave to invisibility. Help others to believe the same about themselves. Every woman should be equally seen and heard. You hold the key that unlocks all possibilities. You can make a difference. There is much to profit from being helpful and present. Thank you for coming this far and for not giving up. You make me proud and I love you.

With love and compassion,

Your BFF