It doesn't have to be like this, period!

The  Purity class I run in Bako that day left me with emotions I can not describe.

I had finished sharing  useful tips with the teenage ( and almost teenage) girls on menstrual Hygiene and Sanitation, when I asked if it was helpful. They all said it was. Not quite satisfied, I further asked a couple of the younger girls if they had started menstruating.

Naomi,  when I asked, shyly nodded "yes". Her two older sisters ,who are part of the group, silmutaenously nodded "no" to answer for her.

They were shocked when they realized what her answer meant.

I quizzed her yet and she affirmed that she had started to menstruate.

 I found out she started menstruating five months earlier. When I asked her what she had been using, she said "rags". Rags  made from her dresses.

Five months!  And no one, not even her sisters nor her mom knew.

And she was not yet a teenager. 

I wondered how she felt when she first saw the bloody mess. Scared?

Confused? How did she know what to do?   Why couldn't she tell anyone?  How hygeinic had she been? These questions haunted me in ending. On more enquiry, I also got to know what I already knew, she always wanted to be indoors when she is having her period. School had to be skipped.

I did what I could do to follow up her case with her mom. I reieterated all I had taught her in the Purity class on what to do. But her self esteem was the major challenge I faced in helping this particular girl.

This is the typical story of many  girls in developing countries.

More than five girls out of ten are not prepared to handle this part of their lives. Many get their information from peers who are likely to be Il-informed or uninformed.

Little wonder why menstruation myths still exists.

I try to do what I can about breaking the unhealthy silence on menstruation through my small NGO, Life Aid. We teach girls what menstruation is, how to keep themselves as clean and comfortable as possible, how to dispose the menstrual products properly.

We distribute re-usable pads to girls who can not afford to buy menstrual products.

We hope to train girls to make their own re-usable pads . They can even sell them to earn money for themselves. 

This is a big feat, because it is like barely  taking a step in a journey of a thousand miles.

I can't help but question why the Government can give out free condoms to curb the spread of STDS, when sex is  chioce, it is voluntarily, but will not give out menstrual products freely to school girls for something they don't get to choose. It happens to them whether they like it or not.

Why won't taxes for menstrual products be cut off?

I am more worried that parents are not having "the conversations" with their children. Girls and boys inclusive.

When the boys know what is really happening to the girls when they are menstruating, I believe that will help stop menstrual shaming. They will be more empathetic. Fathers  too can be involved. They mostly make the financial decisions. They should priortise buying supplies for the girls to use for their periods.

No one had influence over what gender they wanted to be at birth, so girls shouldn't have to through girl hood feeling like they are cursed or something. It doesn't have to be like this. 

Having to bleed every month is challenging enough . 

With the right information, a girl can make informed decisions about her body. She can thrive in confidence and be all that she wants to be.

Men and women, Government and the society can so identify their role in making it happen for the girlchild.

For now, girls like Naomi are at the mercy of what survival means they know, but it doesn't have to be like this. Period!