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Savannah-Lyn Flowers
January 4

Charlotte Green
September 29 

What can I do to love myself?

Firstly, I want the person who asked or followed this question to know this is one of the hardest things for anybody to perfect, and it’s something that takes a lot of practice and discipline. Please don’t feel even worse about yourself for not giving yourself the love you know you need. Be kind to yourself and your learning experience.

Personally, self love is something I struggle really hard with, which is why it is so important to me. I am adamant and determined to get better at giving myself as much love as I give everyone else because of how much of a detriment it is to my own development and happiness when I don’t.

I like to think I’m learning to practice what I preach.

Here are a few things I’ve found that help me like/love myself more:

ONE: When it comes to my body/shape/general way I look, and I’m having a bad thought about something in particular, I actually look up people that have that same feature. For example, if I’m feeling self conscious about my hip dips or soft belly, I’ll search “hip dips” or “soft belly” and I’ll look at all these pictures of beautiful women who I think look wonderful, gorgeous and feminine who have the exact same features as me and think to myself “if I can see these women are beautiful and look great, why do I hate it so much in myself?” It really changes your perspective when you see other people like you and think lovely things. It reminds you that those things are lovely in you, too.

I also do this a lot with my body shape and size. I’ll look up “curvy” women in my specific size and see their beauty which in turn helps me see my own beauty.

TWO: Every time I am particularly harsh on myself about something, I ask myself if I would ever talk to a friend, family member or even perfect stranger that way. If the answer is no (which it almost always is), then I try to remind myself my harsh words/thoughts are unfair, unkind and unhelpful. The severity of my mean self-talk is hardly ever actually warranted. If someone I knew said or did this thing, would it warrant such a judgement? Once again, if the answer is no, I am reminded that my critical thoughts are unfair and cruel.

This one is AWESOME and makes a very solid debate point for your nasty inner voice.

THREE: Try to understand where the bad thought comes from. Realise the fact that your inner voice is only a product of your environment, usually strongly rooted in your childhood, and therefore it’s not actually factual. It’s been created from things out of your control as a little or young person and therefore it has nothing to do with you, your worth or your ability. I like to think of the inner voice as a sponge. It has soaked up everything it has come into contact with, but the great thing about sponges is they can be squeezed, emptied and then re-absorb once again.

Learning to love/like yourself is really just a slow squeeze of your sponge, slowly getting rid of the bad stuff you’ve absorbed.

It’s entirely up to you what you choose to absorb after that. Which leads me to my next technique;

FOUR: Surround yourself with people and things that positively contribute to your personal happiness, growth and ambition. Then your sponge is absorbing the good stuff… the encouragement, compassion, support and admiration. It makes it much harder for your sponge to absorb negativity if you’re gravitating towards positivity.

Sure, sometimes negativity comes out of nowhere and forces itself upon your life but if you’ve soaked up enough of the good stuff, you’ll KNOW that you’re not only going to be able to get through it, but you deserve to.

Here is a picture of me, actually including my body which isn’t common for me, feeling honestly happy and proud of my wonderful vessel. I actually look at this picture and only think positive things because I am GLOWING. My little belly, thick thighs and curvy shape is beautiful. I have made such big strides recently in loving myself and I want all of you to feel the same.

I hope these techniques can help all you gorgeous rays of sunshine learn to love yourself!

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