Turning My Anger Into Feminine Wisdom

The world that I'm living in has shaped my personal vision for my life, my community and the world. I'm a woman with a loving heart and very simple dreams; living peacefully and freely, marrying the man I love, being a mother of 2 daughters and raising them in a better world than mine. From very early years of my life, I discovered that achieving those simple dreams is a rebellious vision. My dreams have made me the person who I'm today.

Few days ago on Friday 26th April 2013; a 17 years old boy was killed in peaceful protests in the suburbs of Khartoum. The brutal actions like killing of peaceful protestors by police forces are very common. The crackdown on civilians has led to formation of countless opposition armed groups or in different words "rebels". What a tragic fate of a 17 years old child leaving behind a broken heart of a mother, and unachieved ambitions of young life.

A woman in Kalma (internally displaced persons camp in South Darfur) was putting herself in danger of rape and even murder while collecting wood daily from outside the camp to offer her kid a light to study, pass the high school exams and get an admission to Gazeera University. She worked for years and collected the donations from camp residents to buy a plane ticket and send him to university; she was sending him to his destiny; being killed by security officers in peaceful protests on December 2012.

We cannot estimate the value of something unless we lose it, we cannot understand the value of peace untill we experience living in war zones. Calling back my childhood memories, I remember women forced to smile, dance and shout of happiness in their husbands and sons funerals who died while were fighting their brothers in the South. I was praying for the war to end, for my brother to return home and not kill their competent at all. I grew up in all these horrors. I cannot handle the idea of losing a beloved one; neither the sorrow I saw in the faces of dead soldiers' mothers. I became angry activist who speak out of those problems as they can never be solved.

Now I believe those brokenhearted women could be peace ambassadors if they had the courage to cry their beloved, to admit that they fought and died for nothing, to say "No more war" and seek justice for the grieved. I decided to mobilize for peace and justice. Justice is the condition of achieving lasting peace. I believe in the universality of the human need for peace and freedom. I seek justice for my nation, the nation's striving under dictatorships rule, the impoverished persons everywhere and women suffer because Allah has created them females. I stand by the disadvantaged.

During the past few weeks I've started to explore my feminine wisdom. I'm sure that Voices of Our Future training program will bring the best in me. It is transforming my rebel's thoughts into revolutionist's plans of action; activating my positive energy to address the problems and suggest solutions. I'd like the voice of women peace ambassadors to be heard across the globe. I'd like women to step and tell the horrors happened to them and their beloved, cry and seek justice. I'm not a politician yet a journalist. I'm a community activist seeking to gain the skills and knowledge and find the support to challenge and change the status quo.

I'm seeking a better future for my girls and the girls all over the world. I'm convinced that citizen journalism is shaping the world politics, redistributing power balance through sharing information with a lot of people and diversifying the resources of information. Changing the power balances will change the world and I'd like to play my role effectively in this change process.