UNDERSTANDING FIBROMYALGIA: A PATIENT'S ACCOUNT







I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with fibromyalgia. Should I be depressed or crying? No! I am happy because I now know that I am not crazy.





The pain began the month after I had my daughter 12 years ago. I had severe headaches and my doctors said it was postpartum. Then, I developed high blood pressure, it got so severe that I had to stop breastfeeding at three months.





My back would go into spasm and turn hard as rock then my blood pressure would go up, told the doctors that it was the severe pain from my back causing my blood pressure to go up but the doctors dismissed me saying it was the other way around.





I was in so much pain but scared to go to the hospital thinking it was ‘all in my head’ as the doctors said and scared that they would take my baby away.



At night I would wait till my daughter slept and cry my self to sleep. On most nights, I couldn’t sleep because I had ‘restless legs’ and was afraid that I was going to die in my sleep.





I suffered in silence going back and forth to doctors when the pain was unbearable. They sent me back with dozens of pain killers and muscle relaxers. The day I had a headache was a good day.





Six years later, while I was in Dubai, I developed burning sensation on my bottom and in my lower back, I went back to the doctor, they could not tell me what was wrong. At a time, I was ashamed going back to the doctor for fear of being labeled crazy nor seeking attention and looking for an excuse to narcotics.





Sitting down for more than 30 minutes was unbearable, I had to buy a doughnut pillow, but that didn’t help. I dreaded going to work in Abu Dhabi which was close to 2 hours drive, I had to sit on one butt for few mins then switch to the next. Couldn’t stop working as a single mum, it was also hard concentrating at work.



10 years later the doctors in America finally agreed that it was the pains that was making my blood pressure uncontrollable, they concluded that as long as they keep the pain under control my blood pressure would be fine. But no one could tell me why the pain.





At that time I began having tingling sensations all over my body. They thought that it could have been connected to my emotions and that I was not be happy inside hence the pain was manifesting in my body. Pain killers and muscle relaxers were changed frequently but it didn’t work. I began to think the doctors were right and that I was imagining the pain. I hide from my family and friends how ill I truly was because I didn’t want them to think I was pretending or seeking attention.



At times while in pain, I would begin to imagine my self in my old age being disabled in the bed unable to move and then I would remind my self that it was all in my mind I was well.



Then I stopped taking pain killers and muscle relaxers. I took break from work because the headaches, spasm, burning sensation and tingling sensation got severe and I could not concentrate while programming.



I came to London a year ago and visited the doctor who ordered MRI and blood work both came back negative.



This time I left the doctor crying because she made me feel so small, stupid and lazy. He told me how it was all in my head and that if I think positive things I would not feel pains in my body.



I decided not to visit doctors anymore after that day.



Then this day I thought I turned off my electric cooker off and thanks for the alarm in the house I would have burned down the house.



That day I knew I had to seek help and could not pretend anymore that all was well.



I visited the doctor’s clinic the next day limping, my heals were swollen.



Fortunately, this time I met another doctor who knew about Fibromyalgia.





It is sad that I had to go through 12 years of pain and suffering before I was finally diagnosed.

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