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A letter to my best friend: Let's stop the cycle of rape in your family

My dearest friend,
How are you doing today my sister? I know you are not ok, but please try and find a way to keep your heart at peace. Ever since you told me about what happened to you and your daughter, I have not had peace too. I am sorry I have not been able to help you solve this burning issue...this is because I lack a solution myself. My dear friend, thank you for confiding in me.

You told me that when you were about 8 years old, you were raped. As a little village girl who was brought to a big city by her aunt, you only wanted to trace your aunties office when she did not come to pick you up from school as usual. It was getting dark, but human forces of darkness took advantage of your naivety, offered you a lift, and raped you in a football field, close to your house. You told me you had not even known the use of a vagina and a penis. You told me you did not even know that what he was doing was really bad. You said you realized it was a bad thing when after doing it, he drove his car away speedily. You said before he drove away speedily he pointed your house to didn't even know that you were close to your house. You told me as you walked to your house, you felt some wet warm stuff running down your thigh. You said this was sperm, mixed with blood. You said when you got home, you were so shocked, confused, and in pains. Your aunt asked where you had been and you told her you had been trying to trace the house. She asked you to take your bath, eat, and sleep. You said washing down there was so painful, so you left it like that and went straight to the bed. You concluded that this man sure knew your aunt so well, because he picked you in front of your aunt's office, and knew where exactly your aunt stayed. Sad enough, you never told anyone, but 24 years later you picked up the courage to tell me.

My dear sister, the reason why you told me this story was because something was happening to your daughter whom you had at teenage. You said your daughter was raped at age 3 in a kindergarten by the school watchman, a man as old as your grandfather. Your daughter was not only raped, she was infected with Syphilis. You remembered how purse was coming out of her vagina and that it took you and your family a very long time to discover that she was raped. You said your daughter told you that "Uncle in our school put a stick in my pee-pee." The watchman was the only male in that school and all the children called him "uncle in our school." When you reported the incidence to the administration, the proprietress said you wanted to spoil the name of her school and the watchman disappeared. You have not set eyes on him until date. You said because they couldn't administer adult dose of medication to your daughter, it took about 2 years for the syphilis to be completely cured, and this was only after an adult dose was finally administered.

My sweet friend, your daughter is now 17 years but you have not gathered the courage to tell her what happened to her. When she was 15, she came home and told you that they have asked them to tell their parents about a vaccine that would be administered to virgin girls in the school, she needed your permission. You asked her not to take it. But you went into the room and cried because you could not explain to her WHY!!

You explained to me that you know your child will some day have a boyfriend/husband and have sex. But you are asking yourself, "What if she tells this guy that she was a virgin and in the course of having sex she and the guy discover she wasn't." You say this will be very traumatic to her, and you know it. You say she will ask herself a million questions and this will affect her.

As she grows older, your worries grow bigger. My sister, I am also worried. What do we do?
I once advised you to seek the help of a still have not gathered the courage to do this. But time is running out and we know it.

Unfortunately, none of the rapists were punished for their actions. They are all unknown. The proprietress of your daughter's school made matters worse in your daughter's case. She was more interested in the reputation of her school than in the well-being of a 3 year old. OMG! Why is the world like this?

My dear sister, let's take action in our hands. Let's face it and save the soul of our innocent 17 year old daughter. But then, what do we do? Must she know about this? I think she should know. I am thinking of a psychologist that we could meet and talk to. What do you think. Meanwhile I have taken it as a duty to advocate against child abuse through the social media, please join me let's do this. You told me history keeps repeating itself, lets stop the repetition of history!

It shall be well my dear friend and sister.
Sending you loads of love like never before.

Your best friend.

Gender-based Violence
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