A mother's strength. Embracing the Journey of Single parenthood

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Khulgal

Kenya

Oct 30

Joined May 1, 2024

January 20th, 2023, is a date etched in my memory. It marks my first step towards reclaiming my life, a day of both hope and heartache, as I embarked on the journey of becoming a single mother. The day dawned bright and clear, yet I carried the weight of a crumbling marriage and the daunting prospect of an uncertain future.

That morning, at 4:00 am, I performed the final, heartbreaking ritual of leaving my matrimonial home. With quiet steps, I moved through each room, ensuring I had packed everything we needed, the weight of those final moments forever imprinted in my mind.

No one enters marriage expecting it to fail. I certainly didn't. I fought fiercely, believing in the promise of “happily ever after.” I prayed for change, for a future of shared old age and enduring love. But after just an year, the cracks began to appear. Unfulfilled dreams bred discomfort, which soon turned into fear, shattering the life I had envisioned.

I believed in second chances, offering not just one, but multiple attempts to mend what was broken. Through the third, fourth, and even fifth trials, I endured immense pain—the pain of shattered dreams, lost hope, and broken faith. If only I had known what lay ahead, I would have chosen a different path.

By the sixth attempt, my spirit was broken. I battled depression twice, a burden I carried in silence, unable to confide in even my closest family. Inside, I was burning, torn apart, broken and bleeding. But I clung to one unwavering belief: I had to fight for my children. Like any mother, I desperately wanted to protect them from the perceived hardship of growing up in a single-parent household. I was determined to keep our family together, even if it meant living a lie, masking my inner turmoil.

My mental health deteriorated rapidly. I could no longer hide the pain. I was deeply wounded, and this time, my resolve was clear: I had to leave this abusive marriage and embrace the life of a single mother.

When I finally made the decision to leave, I sought support from those closest to me. I confided in my mother, believing a mother’s love would be my unwavering anchor in this storm. I truly believed a mother would never abandon her children, especially in their hour of need. But I was wrong. Every decision, every plan, every idea I shared with those I trusted most was relayed back to the man I was leaving. My sister, my confidante, was the first to betray my trust. My elder brother, a father figure and a pastor, followed suit. By this time my Ex had strengthened the bond between him and my mom and nothing I said or did made sense to her. She considered him a hero while I was labelled the marriage breaker.

The sting of betrayal, a double-edged sword wielded by those I held closest, was a fresh wound. These were the people with whom I had shared the deepest vulnerabilities of my marriage. My world was turned upside down. I was at a crossroads, facing the harsh reality that money can buy loyalty, and that sometimes, the only truly loyal person is the one that is dead.

Summoning the last vestiges of strength, I told my children that we were facing the unknown, with or without the support I had expected. I then reached out to another brother, and finally, someone heard me. He listened with empathy and offered us a safe haven—a temporary place for my children and me to stay. It was a moment of profound relief.

And so, we left—my children and I, venturing into the unknown. I am eternally grateful for their courage, for their willingness to embark on this uncertain journey with me. They were brave, determined to help me conquer the loneliness and mental torture that had consumed me. They fueled my determination to navigate uncharted waters, trusting only in God to guide us and provide for our needs.

Time was running fast and my son who had sat for his KCPE was about to join high school in two weeks time. I didn’t have any savings for this cause as I relied heavily on my family’s support, and as fate will have it I was doomed. How on earth will my son join high without any income/neither resources to do so.  The little I had saved I had committed a deposit to relocate to a new apartment, I had no resources left. Luckily the father sent me half the amount I required to get stuff for my son. I shared my predicament with an old friend who had seen me through difficult times before. She has always been  a mother to me, and without hesitation, she stepped in to help. That was my first miracle. 

On February 7, 2023. My son joined high school. This was a moment of triumph a midst the chaos, fear and uncertainty. I resolved to commit to any work I could get in order to sustain us financially. It wasn’t paying much but since my kids were in school, I would double up with part time work. My colleagues became my second family. I am forever grateful for their immense love, kindness and financial support they showed and gave me to navigate my new life.

Today marks exactly two years since that pivotal day, and today, we celebrate God's incredible grace and provision. As the saying goes, when God shows you to take a step, He surely holds your hand for the next. This far, it’s been by the hand of God. I can’t boast about material wealth, but I can confidently say He has never failed us.

I’ve faced my share of tribulations in this single-parent journey, but I can honestly say it has all been worth it. My children are my heroes. They are a testament to resilience and strength. This is our story—a story of heartbreak, betrayal, and unexpected grace, but ultimately, a story of hope, healing, and the unwavering power of a mother's love, guided by faith.

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