Being disabled

I don't know the feeling of being disabled until I'm in that situation right now .

I've been sicked for 3 months, no proper of eating food because I don't have appetite. I can't go to the clinic / hospital for checked up because of Lockdown and then suddenly declared for shutdown again, so we need to wait. While at home we doing herbal medication. 

My monthly period suddenly changed, in one month twice will come out. Everytime I have a monthly period, I felt giddy and a lot of blood coming out with the molds of blood. This is continuously happened to me until we found the natural medicine and back to normal my monthly period. 

This is the time also I'm become disabled, I can sit on my own but can't stand up by my self. I need to wear diaper which I don't like before. Have times I cried because I don't want to be like this, I asked Him if you want to take my life just take it and don't make me suffer like this. I'm 25kg or lesser right now.

I lost hope but my children giving me light to keep on fighting, by God's grace I already have appetite to eat. Soon I can walk again...