‘Maa, Amma, Aai, Bou,’ in common stands for the word mother in English.

In my recent study & research, I figured out a common behavioural pattern in women, which I have tried to explain in short through this piece of write-up.

For centuries in India, women as mothers, wives, daughters, and sisters have played a pivotal role in everyone's life. They are the building blocks of every family. If you're an Indian, or millennia or some of the Gen Z, reading this write-up, then this question is for you, have you ever experienced your mom waiting for you to come back from school without having her lunch done? Have you ever seen the women in a family to be the last ones to eat after feeding all other members of the family? Well, I'm sure, for most of you,  the answer is ‘YES’! 

Ever wondered what is the fundamental reason behind such actions of Indian women? It's not just about women of one particular generation but it's a ‘generational behaviour’, which has been passed on from one to another for centuries.

While taking care of the world around them, they (the women) forgot to take care of themselves. The concept of self-care was in wide use during the COVID-19  pandemic lockdown. But, did it really turn out to be that effective and made the women realise self-worth? Or was it just a fancy term to discuss for some time with a few people around just to sound prudent? 

Well, the answer is NO! The pandemic is over and the talk around self-care is at its trough now.

An Act of kindness or doing over and beyond for others when in pain?

Let's understand through an anecdote:

Lately, one of my friend's mother was undergoing major surgery, one act of her mother astonished me to the core when she came out of the operation theatre, a few hours later despite being under the effect of anaesthesia, while trying to gain a bit of consciousness, she was trying to ask the people around her whether her loved ones had eaten or not! She was unable to speak anything yet she tried her best to ask this question by using the minimum vocals.

Many of us will say how kind and empathetic she is to think about her loved ones when in pain after a major surgery. But at the same time, we must also question ourselves, why women are raised or their brains are wired in such a way that they have always prioritised others over their own health, both mental & physical?!

The answer lies in the history of the nation. 

Both Eastern & Western parts of the globe have experienced adversities in the past few centuries.

Talking about the Western world, the wars including World War I & II, made the women more strong, independent and empowered as the men had to go out leaving the women behind at home to look after the kids and raise them alone.

Similarly, when discussing the behavioural patterns of women in Eastern parts of the globe, especially India located in the south of Asia has witnessed many dreadful historical incidents beginning from invasion to colonisation and their wounds leaving scars in women in the form of ‘Generational Trauma’ reflecting in their behaviours by neglecting their own pain or prioritising their own happiness over others. 

With the passage of time, women have become people pleasers to everyone around them which has led them to compromise with their health and other basic necessities. 

I have seen my mother forgetting to even drink a glass of water while preparing food for us. It's not only my mother but many other women in India, who are so ignorant of their needs.

Wounded society kept bending backwards adding more & more burden to the WoMen at home after making them indoors.

Strong WoMen took it upon herself as the Goddess to protect her Children

Millenniums of Trauma & the spinelessness of a few indoctrinated Men compelled women to become the first line of defence of the family.

To overcome such a pitiful state of women in any family and thereby in society, let's raise awareness on self-care & self-worth.

Let's teach girls from a very tender age to prioritise their own needs first so that they remain content in order to fulfil the needs of society when they grow up to be responsible women.

Let's stop passing on the Generational Trauma & Break the Pattern of Generational Behaviour of Servitude in Women, for their healthy & happier life :)

It’s time to heal the wounds that have been ignored for ages, our mother, our sister, our friend, deserve healing.