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Samiha Zubair

Pakistan

Joined Sep 21, 2018

Long time has passed with many memories made and moments that are unforgettable. I am living in a moment that has made me question since I was very young, but especially now that it has struck personal chord. I was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia and at a young age moved to Pakistan for good and strong foundation in education. When on professional ground I was able to secure a job abroad I was on cloud nine. It was not the only emotion I felt- anxiety, nervousness, fear , curiosity all were sparked up especially as I was not alone but with a three year old in tow. In passing years I saw a lot, gained a lot and I feel I lost myself by putting my heart and mind to slumber as I was made to realise though I wish that what I have deduced from life is wrong that sincere happiness, pure love, safe place are maybe just not for me. Even though I have travelled and visited my home during vacations I realised that some were jealous, some stark surprised, some patronised on how I made it. Their silence was only as their pocket wishes were fulfilled. How many times i have been told that you don't need anything more you are only two: big house you shouldn't dream , see you cannot achieve this who will support your dreams: we have so much on our plates. This is enough for you. It's not!

Even in my 13 years except for once I have never been invited by expats from my country as I don't have a family as if I am some damaged goods they don't know how to manage. How many times my child's hopes got dashed as invitation of having fun and get together was declined under pretext of some excuse. For so many family and respect if man, woman and child are in yhe picture. A single piece missing and we become a jigsaw especially if missing piece is male.

We celebrate birthdays, graduation parties, wedding anniversaries etc. which is a one day celebration. When will we start celebrating good decent human beings for a change. When will we start expressing what is truly important, decent and full of love instead of supressing it with something to uplift our ego and worldly standards. When will the echoes of, don't feel too much you are taking life too seriously, will stop? Afterall as long as life is making us feel precious-no one is allowed to make us feel limp.

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