Helpless

I don't have any friends I don't know how to share my feelings I am just writing without giving a second thought.i am 26 yo Pakistani girl.i am the first born I have 3 younger sisters and one brother. I am looking for job. I don't know why but I am feeling so helpless I really want to do something I want to work I am willing to do hard work but I don't have any job.i have no one to guide me as well I have completed my graduation.

I want to study more I want my sisters to study more and more and become independent.i am just shattered I am so stressed out that I am falling sick again n again.i don't know what to do ?where to go? how to start? I can't show my emotions and stress to my family specially my mama .she hides her sickness so we don't have to go to doctor.my brother and father are having a good time enjoying their life and they don't care or respect about us at all

I want to leave both of them and move somewhere with my mother and sisters only so we can spend life on our own terms.i don't know what to do? I am so helpless 😭

Relatives don't want to stay in touch just because of our financial status.i am looking for remote job currently because of my leg Injury and I don't have any money for doctors.i just need a job I need prayers I need support it's like I am suffocating every moment.

I don't mean to bore anyone I don't have anyone to share with I hide my feelings my emotions but now I am thinking of suicide all the time and I don't want to leave my mother and sisters alone in this prison.please pray for me guide me

If you read my story I am very thankful to you.i am just so desperate for work so I am Attaching my resume below.

Thank you