In the Lion’s Den - Divide and Conquer
May 28, 2019
While going through most of the gender based violence and female genital mutilation stories , mostly those that happened during childhood and young adulthood something kept coming up, in the midst of it all, there stood a woman in the lions' den. A guardian, a sister and in some extreme cases a mother. A girl child would fall into the hands of the predator while the mother figure looked on or disconnects themselves to the happenings. In this day and age it continues to happen. Women are labeled troublemakers for speaking out when sexually harassed, by other women, women are belittled and made to feel insecure by other women. In schools the “Mean Girl “label is celebrated. Who are they mean too, you might ask? Well, to other girls. These girls become women, in turn, will someday be the female representation of the woman.
While visiting a friend, a child rang the bell and asked to speak to her. The young boy advised my friend her son was picking on him, as the boy spoke he was crying, she assured him she’d speak to her son as soon as he got home. Door closed – she laughed at the boy and said the kid needed to toughen up, as boys will be boys. We have normalized boys roughing each other as child’s play and a means of them toughening up. Well we all know that same mentality has brought us here. The mother, a woman once a girl Okays the behavior. Yes we have been victimized; yet on the same token we also have turned on each other. Hilary Clinton running for office, who are her worst critiques, besides Donald Duck, who has little to no respect for women, most of her critiques are women. A tide has to turn, to conquer, we need to do it together, one voice and one mind. Little girls need to work together not against each other. The story has to change; it’s not about who’s prettier, and who’s smarter, it’s about seeing us in each other, seeing my future in the eyes of the woman who was dragged to have her genitals mutilated, becoming her and not wanting another girl child to go through it. It’s about parenting every girl child even if I am not their biological mother, it’s about sisterhood to a woman who’s in another time zone, feeling her pain and not wanting that for her, it’s about owing our struggle and not becoming part of it. Its looking in the mirror and being brutally honest with self. For the women that can make the changes, lets and for those that want to and can’t, lets make them feel secure and be their helping hand.
Nelson Mandela said it well \"A child is not born hating or loving, they are taught\"
If we need to change our story, they are a few things we need to unlearn....
-Lets reach out to the old woman in the village to put down the knife before mutilating another girl
-In the school hallways, lets stand in between the two girls before they pull each other's hair out
-Lets open the door or bang on it when we hear the woman next door crying
-Lets not send stares or daggers but open our arms to those that need the security
-Lets teach our sons what it takes to be a gallant knight, \"it's in stories we read to them at night\"
-Lets teach our girls that they are not competitors
Full Definition ofUNLEARN
transitive verb 1 : to put out of one's knowledge or memory 2 : to undo the effect of: discard the habit of
-A lot of women that can leave their abusive homes, don’t, because they fear being judged or talked about
-A female known to be an activist, is told her chances of being married is zero to none and my personal favorite, “she must be desperate”.
-A woman who speaks out, well, “she must like attention”, so they say.
-Mean girls are the most popular in high schools, lately even in primary schools.
While we work to abolish gender related issues completely, we also need to start from within...