It Kills Your Spirit


About a week ago or so I attended a webinar, and it's this webinar that has encourage me wanting to talk and write about this my hidden menace. It all started 2003 after I completed my senior high school and was working at a resource center as an administrative secretary. 

It was a hot position and I never knew I will get the job because most employers always look out for experience worker on top of the certificate which I didn't have, the day of the interview I was the least person in terms of age, qualifications and experience but fortunately the Mantle falls on me.

I was ready to learn as a young admin from the experience members of the organization and it members. Same year in the job an offer came, I was selected with another lady from a different region to attend school abroad. It's was a full scholarship for a high school study's in Denmark sponsored by the Danish Government DANIDA.

What a grace, the future was very young and things are been unfold, one indeed can never predict the future. At your lowest moment things can change for the best at the same times your highest moment it can change for worst. 

The study was a full cover returned trip, school fees, accomodations, feeding, and stipends and back to back flights. It's will be my first time on the air, so eagerly anticipating the trip. Finally, I was issued with passport, visa, and we got our flights tickets. It was a KLM flight where we transit always at

the Nederland Amsterdam. 

We finally flew and transited from Amsterdam to Denmark where we will take train to a sub city and will be met by our teachers who will drive to pick us to the school.  

Come and see, the blinds in the land of the sighted( don't know the train routes) but we finally make it to skanderborg train station where our teachers met us and took us to campus.

Campus was amazing we check in and study commerce and what of you. The good experience was accessibility of computers and it was there that I got first hand training in ICT, computer training etc. Life wak cool, I was easily outgoing with people and people like me, making friends and so on.

However, this one friend that I meant turned my life for the worst. He was ten years older than me. 

Oh wait, before I travelled I have love and seen the experience of relationship and love only on the telenovelas side of the story. I never had a boy or a serious relationship. The concept of love was for me the ever happily after stories on the movies and on telenovelas .

This danish guy showed his face and in the direction of love and relationships which honestly, I will say if it today I will have considered a lots of things before moving into but out of ignorance I was okay with his age and I never ask questions. All was it's okay sir type of relationship. I also think culture also play a significant role in that my modest type of attitude which we yet to find out the result.

Today, I refused to share a single drop of tear for this guy. He is not worth my drop of tear. 

Today, I encourage you any woman here not waste any energy and her precious time sharing a tear for any man. They are not worth it. May God help you channel your energy in a different project than crying.

Let's continue, 


So we started dating there(Denmark) until it was time for me to return back home, the school was successful, teachers good and above all it was a new experience to behold visiting Denmark. I made new wonderful friends inclusive.

We returned home and I go back to my work, before leaving I applied for leaving without pay. Meaning they can replace me in my absent only for the during i am away, and they should use my salary to pay the one acting until I return to take over. When I returned it was waiting for me(my job).

He still was persuading me even after I returned home, and my mind and heart begin to move towards him. It was becoming ove for me. I have found a true love. For me age was not a problem, besides I thought if he is older than me he will be at the right place to protect me. He became a fatherly figure that I never have. My father passed away very early I was in my last year in the senior high school when he died, exactly the week if our mock exams. I kind of began to love him, he requested to visit Ghana and I agreed, as years went by he finally visited 2007 September he also invited me for a visit again for a three months period which I gladly also did. The to and fro finally ended up with married which against all odds I move to stayed with him in Denmark. The marriage actually took place there in the district assembly is sorø a community in sjeælland in Denmark.

Ladies, this was my mistake! The mistake of loving, I thought I have found love , my rip, my one and only , just to find out I was married to my own enemy of centuries who was waiting for me to avenge his love. How can people be so loveless. 

All was well, until the plan to avenge arrived. It's started subtle with insults, and whatever I do will never be pleasing to him. The treatment kept getting worsening, the emotional traumas was increasing and this is a case I don't have friends to confine in, his friends became my friends and I am scared of going to them because they will run to him. I bottled everything hoping for the best. The best never came until today. Language was another issues even if you want to seek legal service where do you start?

The websites of those legal offices are in the native language, even the claim English sites don't have detailed informations. What do I do? 

It got worst that he limited me to information services like his computer, he kept password on it, refuse to give me money because I will go out and use the bus to seek for help, he also lock the landline, I only received calls but can't call any one.

To be continued

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