my life and family

hi! i am Amirtha Varshini, im in 9th standard,currently studying in india. my story is nothing interesting but i wanted to share it so i could know that im not alone or maybe that i could help someone one. i was born in india but raised in saudi arabia. the indian tradition stuck with me like glue though. i studied in saudi arabia for almost 8 years than i moved to india to continue my studies. when i moved to india i faced discrimination and teasing. backhanded compliments and many more i guess. i didnt know how to cope in an enviroment i have never been in. i was in a boarding school for one year my 8th grade was spent there. people were not rude but they were different than what i was used to. i hated everyone there but i stayed for my parents sake and pretended everything was okay. after that they took me and my brother out of that and my brother decided that he wanted to be a days scholar and so im also a days scholar now. so we moved to coimbatore, got a house and stayed here and my dad left to Saudi Arabia again. only me, my mom, and my brother are here. its good so far. but it hurts some times knowing whatever happens to me or what my feelings are i can never tell anyone. i have undiagnosed ADHD my parents don't know i did a online consultation with a doctor and figured it out. it is really hard sometimes. mostly because my mom is from the 1900 so she doesn't technically understand us "2K kids" problem. my mom compares her life with us all the time. i try to tell her "now its different" but she doesn't wanna hear it. i know she will judge me. well it doesn't mean I don't love my mom, i love her more than anything but sometimes parents have to come to our level to understand our feelings. my parents never did that. im an extrovert but i stil keep my feelings and emotions to myself because i feel like the whole will judge me for having these feelings and emotions. I cry when i am angry. They feel like they know know us the most but no. some random person from the streets i emt 1 hour ago will know more about me than my parents ever will. my house is filled with gender discrimination only i have to adjust to every single change they make but they will change the entire world so their son doesn't have to move a finger. he is not a spoiled brat but my mom spoils him, not with materialistic things but spoon feeding him. he will cross your boundaries with you or him knowing. he doesn't know how to respect a girl even if he has a sister because my mom babied him and treated him like he was on top of the world. he got carried away. i was put down so he could climb up, and he stepped right on top of me. he doesnt know the meaning of "no" because my mom always said yes.

this is my life. always adjusting to every change that is brought my way. always changing my life to save myself from getting a scar. you know? this one time i told my mom to tell my brother not to go to my email on my laptop.(his was not working) when he is doing his essay. my mom went nuts telling my i was over myself and she wont tell him anything. i told my dad and he just said to delete my email from MY LAPTOP whenever he is using it. do you understand what they are teaching that its okay to cross boundaries...

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