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It's hard to believe that these two lists made such a difference to me, set me on a path of inner growth that no one knew about and no one saw coming.  I read them and knew right away a few of the things I could do to work towards self-respect and inner power. I hope they help you. Was it easy? No. Was it worth it? Always.



___Low parental esteem

___Belittling by parents, teachers and peers

___Lack of appreciation expressed by parents, teachers and peers

___Comparisons of children and their characteristics and talents by parents

___Lack of motivation to be independent

___False concepts given to the individual by parents, teachers and peers

___Demanding parents

___Parents that push children to fill needs that the parents never achieved

___Rivalry with an exceptionally talented brother and sister

___An unflattering physical appearance

___Adverse family, economic, social, cultural and ethnic conditions

___Raising children on the basis of reward and punishment

___Over-possessiveness, over-permissiveness and overcontrol

___A  sense of guilt over affluence

___A high value being placed on material possessions

___Repeated defeats and failures


___Lack of purpose in life

___Depending on others for a sense of worth

___Doing what comes easiest and never accepting challenges



___Actively participating in life

___Is objective and spontaneous

___Is emotionally and intellectually honest

___Understands problems that arise in life, and accepts his or her limitations in      solving them

___Accepts the pleasure and discomforts that come with self-revelation

___Takes a reasonable view of life

___Is able to accept the limits of his or her talents and abilities, and to share in other's talents

___Doesn't brood about missed opportunities, lost causes, errors and failures, but looks instead for the knowledge and experience they contribute to life

___Does not have irrational emotions

___Is able to endure solitude on a limited basis

___Can handle unconventiality at times, but not simply for the sake of rebellion

___Is not rigid with rules

___Grants others their right to opinions and values

___Accepts, nourishes, trusts, respects and loves self

___Has a genuine interest, caring concern and respect for self


I think it is so cool to know that people can yell at me, betray me, call me names, tell others bad things about me, neglect me, on and on. I don't have to react back. I can talk to my inner power. They can NEVER EVER touch my inner power and brain. NEVER. That is mine. A person can cut off my arms and legs even but I still have my inner power and the knowledge I have put in my brain. WOW! There's power in that. And the good news is, that once I have that, it's all I need. Everything else that's good, including people and promotions, come to me. 

\"Copied from Wendy's MIND OVER MATTER newsletter and speech How To Get Rid Of What's Holding You Back.










Economic Power
Positive Masculinity
Northern America
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