Relationships and Trauma

Trauma is a sad part of life that you can’t entirely escape, but how you deal with it, is what matters. Past traumatic experiences damage one and make it hard to trust and when it is extreme making relationships successful becomes hard, they are afraid of the past reoccurring, and sometimes no amount of reassurance can change that. They want love, the relationship but fear overcomes them and it takes a stronger willing person to walk with them.

Therapy is quite helpful but you can’t help someone unless they open their hearts for it takes will and acceptance to get better. The experience was bad, a nightmare they wish they would wake from yet a reality hard to digest and move on from. Trauma makes people withdraw from everything and anything that reminds them of the incident and most of the time they are left hurting and sad.

Dear traumatic persons I am so sorry about what happened in the past, you didn’t deserve to experience or even see that but I want you to move past that and be happy. It happened and you can’t change that but you change the ending of it. Please learn to live with it and heal at your own pace as you bring out the present in you. Your past shouldn’t deter you from being happy, you deserve all the happiness you can get.

The universe will not be softer with you just because you had a rough past but no matter what happens don’t keep alluding to the hurt, it makes you hurt the more. Learn to start everything on a clean slate, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will last forever though it is what we pray for but you will be happy when it lasts. The reason for starting afresh every time is because some people are genuine and they don’t mean any harm only that things don’t always turn out as we wish and want them to.

Accepting how relations end is even better because the end might not necessarily be good but it doesn’t mean that it was not worth the process. We learn every day and from anything even what we don’t like and never anticipated and that is the beauty of life seeing positivity in everything and becoming better.

The trials are worth it because happiness is not cheap and sometimes it takes pain to appreciate love and happiness. You deserve genuine love and so does your partner so don’t let the victim in you make you scare away what you have while protecting what doesn’t even exist. They say once bitten twice shy, protect yourself but don’t build walls around that will end up collapsing on you. Lower your expectations and let things flow but above all talk freely of your fears that way you will be halfway protecting yourself and spelling out your trauma, and they will either accept you or leave you alone that soon.

Love is beautiful and you can’t entirely choose not to love because your heart will feel empty and that is why I want you to love again dearest. It will be hard but you can do it. Pick up the pieces of you and stand again because only you can truly and entirely fix yourself. The scars and the damages are a sign that showed up don’t let them define you negatively. Lessons learned means making better choices and not any choices at all. Trauma is not a mental health condemnation you can get better and start all over again. You will be alright just make the move!