Unrest

It was pretty early. I barely could not sleep. Even my hammock was not as good as it always has been. I changed sides. I stood. I needed more water. Then more valerian. Then I needed more hope. Then I needed resilience to come to rescue me. So I went to see the trees. It was 1:36 am this morning. I opened my balcony. The fresh air woke me up. And I felt trapped. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. And I start seeing indigenous people near the trees. I was in shock. I had to look again and I rub my eyes trying to know if what I was seeing was true. It could have been. It was. Reality has no time or space. Reality has no body but spirit.

I returned to my hammock trying to rest. The day before was really quite something and I was trying to find anything. I was in that forest looking for something. And I found it. But I did not know it yet. And I felt strange. And those people in my forest took me by surprise. And when I woke up again and as I always do, I took my book, the one that helps me to understand life, and when I prepared and took a sip of my coffee, and after I read "...this Nobel prize goes for all Colombians who had suffer in their war" was when I finally understood.

My body started trembling, my hand was trembling, my spirit was trembling and I have to close my eyes to try to know if this was not a dream again. ¿Was it? It was true. And I could see the white dove injured flying with a new wing. I cried. I am still. I will maybe the whole day...Because I feel pain for our dove. I feel so much pain and sadness and reSIlience and I feel the white dove was trying hard to fly all over us and some did not want to. And some just were afraid of her and I was trying to understand why…¿why? Why…

And then it came Gabo with Alfred to help her. To take her with care and trough our leader allows her to recover a little for what she has received in my territory for so long... For so many years... I could see her blood in every one of my people who has suffered, who has lost a love one, who has lost a son in a landmine going to study, who has face dead as the prize to find peace…to find love again, to find what we do not even know, because I do not know peace yet…but I know it exists, because of that white dove that today flies over so many countries, over so many territories where people have what we also deserve. We do.

This also took me by surprise. I think it took most of my people by surprise as it took us last sunday when more than a half of our people said not. Because they did not even believe it. They could not understand how this happened. But it happened. And there we were again suddenly in a limbo I do not want for my son, for anybody sons, for none country, for none family, for none soul, for nobody…because we deserve peace. We all deserve peace in our planet. We all have to be better than this. We might have already learnt from our past. We have to…

Because that white dove is injured. And we are all injured. And we are suffering….and there is suffering people who could barely write or read in my country but knows how to carry a gun and I want them to carry a pencil and a color to paint their life with light and happiness. I want them to be able to write a new history about their lives. I want them to be able to finally find peace in their hearts and see the beauty of their surroundings and the beauty of that white dove flying over them, their families, their friends, their love ones, over our country, over all those indigenous and peasants that have given their love ones life as a tribute.

This award is to all of us. For all of us. And I am grateful because I could see peace trough the canopy of my forest even before my eyes could see it this morning. My spirit is free now. I am in peace. Because I embraced the white dove and I am the peace. Together we are one now.