Victims of the Past

Looking back at a time
when I was still young
and didn't know how to handle my emotions

I look back and see all the damage I did,
all the sorrow I caused
because of my own personal haze.

I hurt others, some who believed in me
Just because I could, and still do
Even though I know better than before.

It's a long process, letting go.
How long long will it take to recover,
the damage you wreck still there?

How many suffered because of you?
You can't, can you, just walk away from it all
because it is part of the problem.

Atoning for past deeds is sacred, and yet horrible responsibility
because they have to see you and forgive you
and sometimes they don't even blame you.

Sigh. The cycle, it seems, goes on and on
And since you are learning, how to forgive and forget,
you let down sometimes and bring the pain anew.

No one likes self pity, no one enjoys it
But I feel I have to say sorry
at least one more time

before I get it right.