Voice

Being African today, in a world that constantly seems determined to wash you clean of everything African, has become a conscious daily battle, to know yourself, your people and hold dear what needs to be imparted into the next generation, to conquer extinction. Being an African woman, however is on a different level, you have to decipher the difference between culture and non progressive traditional practices thus pulling out the weeds that are abuse, that are being second rated as a citizen, that are being silenced, in the midst of also upholding your Africanism. Being an African woman with a mental illness, is akin to a grave, Africa around you treats you like death, unknown, unheard and invisible while you are in the margins of the marginalized, striving to stay alive.

Mental illness is not something new in Africa, it is only a new subject being discussed, because there is a misconception floating around us that if we ignore something long enough, it will go away; but ignorance is lack of knowledge and lack of knowledge is lack of power. We love to raise our voices and rightfully demand equality to people of other continents and races, yet there are illnesses we still call "theirs" and refuse to accept as a reality to ourselves, our families and our societies. Illnesses that we will not invest research and resources in because they are not contagious, so the selfish assumption is that it will never affect you. It is a spineless falsehood to continue to hold on to the belief that what you don't know will not hurt you. Many developments have happened in all sectors across Africa, yet my mother was born, I was born and my daughter has been born, in an environment where the same stigma resulting in fear and discomfort arises when encountering someone known to be battling mental illness. The myths that have long been shattered about other illnesses, remain rooted where mental health is concerned. It is still labelled as witchcraft, demons and curses, like we do, in Africa,all other things we know nothing about.

Year on year, we see women in ragged clothes in the streets,pregnant, living in appalling conditions. It would not shock most of us to learn that she experienced a perinatal mental disorder, because these are the type of conditions we have associated with mental illness. In reality mental disorders wear a different face. It is in our children who have always walked an alternative route against our will and eventually commit suicide. It is you and I in denial and crippling depression over a health diagnosis, for ourselves or a loved one. Our stereotypical and ignorant version of mental illness is thus manifesting in the narcissistic desire to be rich, of the well dressed educated man, who will rape that woman in ragged clothes, a beggar,assuming she is mentally ill, believing it will make him magically rich or more commonly in the everyday person's preference to frequently indulge in risky sexual activities than to sit aside a person diagnosed with a mental disorder.

Perinatal mental disorders are not only affecting women in neighboring continents, they are affecting women in Africa. The common triggers for these disorders, economic instability, unemployment, violence, lack of support from home, HIV positive diagnosis, migration among others are daily battles of every African woman. In a bid to fit into the idealism of all African women being strong maternal goddesses, women are suffering in silence. Some, have never heard of these disorders and cannot even begin to imagine what might be wrong with them. Some know but remain quiet because they know the stigma that follows mental challenges. While still there are those who talk and it falls on deaf ears. Deaf is not hearing the emotions in someone's words, deaf is giving someone who is reaching out to you, a heartless answer such as" you should actually be grateful, some women can't even have babies," deaf is answering with weightless solutions like, "it' s the work of the devil, just pray" or the common African statement "be strong as a woman", deaf is when you turn your back on your partner who's behavior is out of the norm because " she's just trying to get attention". Every women is no more a maternal goddess, than every man is an adequate financial god.

Perinatal mental disorders are treatable and a considerable amount can be done in prevention, but it is virtually at a standstill in Africa, until we first acknowledge mental illness as an illness like any other and familiarize ourselves with it. Until we do, women will continue to break and die, marriages will continue to suffer, because again, divorce is not only on paper; families become dysfunctional and children suffer. " Maternal depression during infancy has a bigger impact on a child's development than later exposure to maternal mental illness" ( Essex 2001, Moehler 2006). Women being allowed to work and speak in the presence of men, doesn't mean that we are being treated as equally important citizens. While prompt steps are taken to address possible mental health complications due to illnesses affecting both men and women, where women alone are concerned little to no steps are taken. Yet in reality women are constantly faced with emotionally battering ordeals. Girls are still socialized to equate their worth to getting married and having children, girls are still being abused and raped by relatives that they can never name, it is still the girl who has to carry and give birth to a baby she isn't ready to have, still the girl being victimized by their families and in laws when they get pregnant, still the girl who gets a name, for having a child out of wedlock, still the girl who has to carry the shame in a judgmental society after rejection, still a girl leaving her family, when she needs their support. These girls are growing up to be Women who are battling to keep their families afloat in struggling economies amidst strained marriages, women with flawed physical health and unanticipated HIV positive diagnoses when they are already pregnant, facing shameless prying eyes, waiting to determine their status by investigating details about their birth, women are being abused in maternity settings by the very people who are supposed to be helping them...it's a cycle that ends in emotional turmoil and disorientation, where they cannot bond with their babies, breastfeed and ultimately murdering their babies, followed by arrest because no one knows or cares to fathom mental illness unless someone is seen rummaging bins.

When a woman goes to give birth, she goes to war. Whether she is ready or not, she has to fight, she comes face to face with the possibility of dying. Immediately after that, someone new entirely depends on her. When she can hardly lift herself, she has someone else to lift, when she can hardly eat, someone else is feeding off her, when she is trying to find herself again, someone needs her love. Yet...the baby is graced with the fathers surname. She will receive no appreciation or honor for her battle because colonization left an illusion of robotic, silent African women who work mechanically, caring for everyone but themselves, with no need for acknowledgment.

The motivational of the Unbreakable African Women, helped women to survive many unimaginable, mentally and physically wrenching situations. In many cultural African setups, the belief is to continue to teach women to hide their blood, be silent about their pain, yet to work tirelessly, for them to be a favourable contribution to her husbands world. These beliefs are also seen in the discouragement of a man's presence while his partner gives birth, basing on the possibility of his desire for his wife being tainted by the reality. Several women also find it unacceptable for a man to be present at birth, because they find it shameful.

Now we are left with women, only appropriate to be companioned in the making of a baby, who constantly live in survival mode and do not know how to express their pain, or their need for help because they have been raised to believe its a sign of weakness. Their fight is viewed as a shameful experience. They go through a level of pain that cannot be equated to any other survivable human experience, only to be seen by her " life partner" when she now holds the prized baby. The " convenient" silence around this remains because there are those who still benefit from this and we the women in question raised to withstand pressure, do not believe it's slavery because we do not see a white man standing before us with a whip. African men's oblivion to what happens in a labour room, again leaves them insensitive to women's experiences and recovery.

Despite efforts to belittle women, as nature has it, tomorrow has no life without women. We need to reject the propaganda of maternal goddesses and embrace the heroism of mothers! Heroes fall too, they bleed, they feel pain, sometimes they have scars, sometimes the scar is a traumatized mind. Not having experienced something does not make it unreal. We need to be knowledgeable and vigilant about our mental health. We need to continue reading and weeding. The fingernails of shame need to be dug up out of every African woman for us to speak of our realities and find the healing in hearing your own story and giving another woman a pillar. Everybody has a voice, the freedom to use it requires the braveness of individuality and the beauty in individuality is in finally finding your voice, not be be heard by those who never listened but for the worlds of souls who have waited to hear your melodies. In the provocative words of Audre Lorde " Your silence will not protect you..."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3975070/African-immigrant-mother...

http://www.ann7.com/woman-arrested-for-killing-one-day-old-baby/