Breaking the Silence

What forms of violence against women are we not safe to write about? What punishment will we face if we speak out, make known the details? What if the perpetrator or perpetrators are respected members of the community, even lauded as being leaders of progressive movements? What if the details I want to write, details I have witnessed, details I have carried a long time are so cruel that they become unbelievable? So cruel that people shy away from knowing? So cruel that it is easier to pretend it never happened.

I hold so much information about violence against women, stories told to me with pleas not to tell anyone further, that the information made public will bring harm back to this woman for telling her story of being beaten for trying to speak, of being fired from work for speaking, of being ostracized from her community for speaking, of being labelled a liar for speaking, of being labelled an enemy for speaking.

So many stories told in strict confidence, with please don't tell anyone, but thank you for letting me tell you, for knowing I am not alone, not to blame, not wrong in my thinking, not wrong to have broken free and got away, broken free and had the courage to ask you, do you have a moment? Can I speak with you? Can I tell you what I have been through these past years? I cannot speak about what was done to me. No one will believe me. They will blame me for calling out a leader on the violence he did. But now I feel better. I've told you my story. You have told me that I am not the only one. I have let it out of my body. I feel better knowing you will do something about this. Even though I can’t.

You have done something by telling me, I say. I will never forget what has happened to you. I will not be silent, knowing you are still healing. I will not be silent, knowing it is still unsafe for you to speak. I want you to know that I have been hearing many stories like yours. That you are not alone in this struggle you have been through, wanting to get free and feel safe. That you are not alone in wanting to be sure that these forms of violence end, and that at least we have this way, this promise to each other that we hold sacred these moments, when we can speak with each other about everything.